Healing
by Phanael
Summary: When Sirius woke up this morning the first thing he realized was that Remus wasn’t in his bed.' And when Sirius finds out, he really gets angry! slash. RLSB. please RR


_Disclaimer: Not mine..._

_Pairing: Sirius X Remus_

_Notes: Set in the Marauders era. mostly_

_Rating: M for a good reason! blushes_

**Healing**

When Sirius woke up this morning the first thing he realized that Remus wasn't in his bed. Nothing abnormal, Sirius thought. The boy had gone into the library or was in the common room, reading or doing homework like he often used to do when he could not sleep. And that was a problem Remus often faced. Sometimes Sirius heard him get up late at night or so early in the morning, that he got up as well and asked if everything was all right. Remus would always smile and tell him that nothing is wrong with a broad smile on his handsome face, but with a sad expression around his deep amber eyes. Sirius always knew what was wrong: he could not sleep because he was afraid. He hated the night and he hated it, when the moonlight came in through the windows and disturbed his sleep. So he often did not sleep that much and the deep lines under his eyes sometimes were very deep. Sirius was worried for his friend, but Moony wouldn't let him worry and tell him it was not that bad.

The Animagus got out of bed, got a shower and dressed slowly.

"Hey, Padfoot, if you don't hurry, you'll be late for breakfast!", James said. He was fully dressed and looked fresh as the morning itself. Sirius snorted. He wasn't much of a morning person so unlike James and Remus who always were up earlier than him and teased him about his being slow in the morning.

"I won't miss breakfast for anything in the world.", he laughed and followed James down the stairs, through the common room, where he noticed, Remus was not and down into the Great Hall where the other student of Hogwarts sat and ate, chatting loudly and the clattering of plates all over the room. Soon Sirius noticed that Remus wasn't at breakfast as well.

"Have you seen Moony?", Sirius asked Peter who already was finished with his breakfast and read a late homework for their lesson. When he looked up, Sirius already read the answer in his face.

"No. I haven't seen him today.", he said. "I thought he was in the library."

"Thought so as well…"; Sirius grumbled and began his breakfast. But normally Remus did not miss breakfast, he always came into the hall to join them and chat with them, sitting next to Sirius and teasing him about his bad moods in the morning.

When Sirius left Arithmancy he met James and saw that something was wrong. He walked over to him and tapped his shoulder. "What's wrong, James? Is something wrong with Remus?" when James did not answer Sirius' worries deepened. He grabbed his friends shoulders and looked him straight into the eyes. "Tell me, James, what's wrong?"

"Please, Sirius, don't get upset!", don't get upset? Sirius? James seldom called him another name than Padfoot. This had to be something really serious. "Remus is at the hospital wing." Sirius stared at him.

"What? Why?" It hadn't been the night of the full moon, Sirius knew, so what had happened to his friend.

"He… McGonnagall told me for she thought we ought to know…"

"Know WHAT?"

"Remus… Lucius Malfoy has… raped him in the library.", Sirius' face went white instantly and he didn't say a word but James knew what was about to happen. He was right, Sirius stormed off towards the room he knew Malfoy was. James did nothing to stop him, he was angry as well and he knew what was about to come…

Sirius found Malfoy at the foot of some steps but did not realize McGonnagall standing on the landing above them.

"Malfoy…", he snarled and without any further explanation or warning slammed his fist into the other boys stomach. When the blond haired youth lay on the floor he punched again into his sternum . Malfoy gave a low growl, but he did nothing to defend himself. Another slam into his face, then Sirius stood above him and looked at his fellow student on the floor. "You bastard!", he screamed at him.

Grinning Malfoy sat up and looked back at McGonnagall. "Professor… did you see, what Black just did to me?", Malfoy asked and got up, coughing all the time and a small line of blood tickling down his chin. McGonnagall came down the steps toward the boys. Sirius was not afraid, he was so angry, full of anger and fury. He was sure he had done the right thing and he would do it again and again and again.

"I'm so sorry, Mr Malfoy, I was a bit distracted…", McGonnagall said, as she passed by the boys. She stopped and looked back at Sirius. "You should visit him, Mr Black. He needs company." Sirius nodded but before he left he looked down at Malfoy.  
"Your life will be hell from now on. I will make sure of it.", he snarled.

Malfoy was just grinning. "Hell? How could it be hell when I had this sexy boy this morning? But how did he get those scars? Is he into Sm or something?", he asked in a low growl. Sirius wasn't able to do more than stare down at him. "And how he squirmed when I took him. He enjoyed, I guess. He loved how I felt.", his eyes narrowed and he looked up straight into Sirius' eyes, an ugly grin on his face. "He screamed for you, Black. Have you ever seen him crying? He is so sweet, like an angel, Black…" before he could say anything more Sirius' slapped him hard across the face and left him there, ignoring the laughter of this ugly bastard.

_'Remus…'_, he thought, the name of his friend and his face the only thing in his mind right now. But he couldn't forget Malfoy's words. Yes, he knew Remus looked like an angel, so innocent and sweet. And he had screamed for Sirius? Oh Gods, and he, Sirius, hadn't been able to help him. He felt sick and felt the urge to simply kill Malfoy. But right now all that mattered was Remus.

When he arrived in the hospital wing, madam Pomfrey was there and waited for him.

"He sleeps right now.", she explained and led Sirius into the room where Remus always slept after the nights of the full moon. When she left, Sirius sat down on the chair next to the bed.

He saw how Remus stirred in his sleep and after a while the werewolf opened his eyes with a gasp and looked around wildly. When he saw Sirius he turned his head away, his gaze lowered towards the floor. He was so ashamed for what happened. He had been so weak…

"Remus?", Sirius asked. He resisted the urge to grab Remus' hand or to touch his body lightly below the blanket like he used to so, when Remus slept after his transformation.

"Forgive me, Sirius.", Remus muttered. Sirius looked up and tried to see his face.

"Please, Remus, please, look at me.", he pleaded and when Remus finally complied he nearly flinched: his eyes looked dully at him and on his forehead was a large bruise. New anger swelled in his chest. Malfoy's life would be hell from now on! How dare this scumbag touching his dear Remus? This wonderful and compassionate creature…

"There's nothing for what you have to plead for my forgiveness. You do not need to apologize. You did nothing wrong."

"I'm weak. I wasn't even able to just run away."

Sirius leaned a bit towards Remus. "Nothing is your fault." He was glad the boy didn't refuse to speak to him. He had a strong personality and he was brave. Remus would be the same again one day. Sirius was sure and he would do all he could to help his friend become happy again. Sirius would do everything for Remus.

For some minutes Remus simply stared at Sirius and after some time he shyly reached out a hand and grasped Sirius'. "Don't leave me!", he said. Sirius nodded and gently pressed the cold fingers in both of his hands.

"I'll stay here as long as you want me to.", he promised. Nobody would part him from Remus, if the boy needed him, he would not leave his side for a minute. Remus simply nodded and closed his eyes with a relived sigh. Sirius realized that it must have cost him dear to ask this question and he just squeezed his hand again.

He sat there the whole day and night and not even Madam Pomfrey tried to make him go to the Gryffindor Tower to sleep. He laid his head on his arms, Remus hand still in his and tried to sleep this way. He did not get much sleep though for he did not dare to fall asleep with Remus scared by his side.

In the morning Remus did Sirius not even get out of the room when he dressed for the day. He was so afraid of being left alone it nearly broke Sirius' heart to see him like this. Remus had always been the shy type but he had been self-dependent. Now he acted like a hurt child but Sirius couldn't help but do everything Remus asked of him. He wanted him so badly to become the same than before the incident with Malfoy.

The whole day, Remus never left Sirius' side and even when the raven haired boy went to the toilet Remus was glued to his shoulder and waited for him patiently. The other pupils tried to act normally towards Remus but he wouldn't let anyone come near him except Sirius. The Animagus was happy that he did not retreat completely and that he talked to him but he was concerned about his behaviour towards the others. There was no need to be afraid but for now Sirius would leave it like that.

In the evening Sirius was by Remus side until the boy had fallen asleep. He sat at the edge of the bed and studied the sandy haired boy as he lay there and slept. Sometimes he seemed to wince like he felt a sting of pain and every time Sirius felt like it was his own pain. He couldn't stand to see his friend suffer and he would make Lucius suffer! His life would be a living hell and he would soon curse the day he was born! Malfoy has taken something that belonged to him! Sirius knew Remus since their first day at Hogwarts that means he knows him for nearly seven years now and he also knew that Remus has never slept with a girl. Malfoy had taken his virginity something that Sirius knew was important to Remus. He had never dared to ask why but now that Lucius had taken that from him, he knew Remus would never be the same again. Sirius felt like Malfoy had stolen something that belonged to him.

When Sirius realized his thoughts he shook his head and got up, walking over towards his own bed. When had friendship become love? He did not know, but it had been a long time now since he felt like this. It didn't matter now, did it? They both seemed to share something unspoken, they trusted each other deeply and were so dear to each other. Not like brothers. And Sirius was sure Remus knew as well. There had been no need to say it out loud yet, they both were aware that the feelings were there and they felt so comfortable in the presence of the other. It was so normal…

Yawning he laid down on his bed, unable to sleep, he always listened to strange noises, afraid something could happen or Remus would have a nightmare. When he nearly drifted off to sleep he heard the silent footsteps of naked feet on the ground. They came towards his bed and his mattress lowered only seconds later.

"I couldn't sleep without you.", Remus' soft voice told a seemingly sleeping Sirius, before he laid down next to him and buried his face in the nape of his neck and inhaled the scent of the deep black hair. It soothed him and soon he felt himself drift to sleep.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

The next few weeks always had the same routine: Remus would never leave Sirius' side and Sirius got very protective around Remus. He did anything for his friend and Remus was so happy about Sirius and how much he cared for him. He soon felt better and eventually talked to Sirius about the incident. He told him how afraid he had been and how much he had wished someone would enter the library. But he had to endure the pain until Malfoy was finished with him. Every time Sirius heard his desperate words he got more and more angry. But instead of making Malfoy's life hell he cared for Remus. He was so much more important to him.

Three days after the incident, Malfoy was expelled from Hogwarts. From that day on Remus seemed to feel a little bit better but still he needed to be close to Sirius for weeks.

After a time of five weeks Sirius and Remus sat in the common room late into the night, until they were the only ones left. Remus sat on a sofa and read a book while Sirius sat next to him and simply stared into the fire, his thoughts far away and yet with the boy next to him. When they were alone for some time, Remus closed his book and looked up at Sirius.

"You tired?", Sirius asked and looked at him with a smile on his lips.

"No… I just… aren't you tired of me always by your side?", he asked barely above a whisper.

Sirius was shocked, how could he think that? He liked to have Remus by his side and he never minded his friend sleeping in his bed. How could he after what had happened? How could he after all mind Remus' presence? Sirius felt close to the other boy and he was happy that he trusted him so deeply.

"No, Remus. I like to have you with me!", he assured the boy and smiled at him.

"I just thought that you would like to spent more time with James like you used to and … and…", Sirius was at full attention now, there were tears in Remus' eyes. A sight he never could stand. He reached out and grabbed Remus' hand in his but this time the boy jerked his hand back.

"Remus?"

"I'm dirty.", Remus whispered and a tear rolled down his face. Sirius shook his head vigorously.

"No, Moony. You're the last human being on this earth that one would call dirty. You're not and you never will be."

When Remus did nothing but stare at him, tears on his face, his hands quivering slightly, Sirius decidedly got up and pulled Remus with him. He ignored the protest that came from Remus he was simply determined to show his friend that he was all but dirty.

In front of the lake he stopped and looked at Remus.

"Well. We'll swim a round or two.", he said with a firm voice. Remus simply stared at the water and at Sirius. He didn't make a move to do how Sirius told him. "It is time you see that you're still Remus. The Moony I knew would never let slip a chance for a bath in the lake. So come on, take off your clothes and follow me.", Sirius said while he undid his tie and opened the first buttons of his shirt. When he looked at Remus he realized what was wrong. "Come on, Moony. Nobody will be here and see us. Don't be shy.", he stepped over towards him and when Remus didn't step backwards from his hands he gently unbuttoned his shirt, undid his tie and slid both off the boys body. "See? You're not dirty. You're still Moony."

Gods, why didn't Remus care to undress himself? There wasn't anything Sirius hadn't seen before but this time he felt so different. This time they were alone and it was him who stripped Remus naked. He hoped his friend would not realize his half-aroused state. He didn't want to scare him. Not after what had happened. Soon his fingers fumbled with the zip of Moony's pants. Something that didn't help his state of arousal much.

"You can do the rest yourself.", Sirius said and got rid of his own clothing. Before Moony would catch a glance at him he let himself fall into the water but it didn't have the effect he had hoped. It wasn't cold, in fact it was surprisingly warm. He watched Remus as he stepped out of his pants and towards the water, where he knelt down so that he was covered with water to his chest. Sirius was glad he did so. Well aware of Remus' nakedness he swam a round and then knelt down in front of Remus.

"See? Not dirty. You're clean and innocent. There's nothing left of it and you're still the most angelic creature I've seen.", Sirius told him. Remus cast his eyes down.

"Sirius?"

"What is it my dear Moony?"

"Do you… do you still… like me?", he asked so quiet Sirius wasn't even sure if he had said anything at all.

"Of course, Remus. Of course I like you! You're my friend. One of my best friends. Don't you ever think I would not like you.", he said and looked straight into Remus' eyes.

"But… do you still like me more…than a friend? As you used to before Malfoy did this? Before I became dirty?" Sirius gasped and rushed forwards to grab both sides of Remus' face in his hands. How did he know? Was it that obvious? He had always known that Remus felt the same way, they were so close but they had never spoken about it. Until now. Slowly Sirius nodded.

"Yeah. Yes, Remus, I do.", he confessed. He could feel Remus smile against his fingers, a true smile. It really reached his eyes and spread in those amber orbs like a fire. And how Sirius loved this fire. It was all Remus was and it had always been there when they were together. It was the fire that made Remus Remus. Hesitantly Remus stretched out his hand and gently lowered it on Sirius' chest. The raven haired boy never made him stop, why would he? With a strong arm, Remus pushed Sirius back against the rock behind him and stood very close to him. Sirius shivered all over. What was Remus about to do? He was surprised of Remus being so forward but he was glad for it. After what has happened Sirius had been overly careful with Remus and he never would have done anything like that. He was even careful when he tried to touch the boy.

Smiling Remus let his hand glide over Sirius' chest and was glad when he saw how much he enjoyed this. His breath got heavier and faster, his chest heaving with each breath beneath his fingertips, the muscles working under this soft skin and his heart pounding faster. He leaned forward until he nearly touched Sirius' face with his lips.

"You like this?", he asked in a low whisper and Sirius nodded.

"Yes.", he whimpered, getting harder by the second. Did Remus actually know what he was doing to him? Sirius was sure Remus knew what he did, when his hand slid lower, over his stomach, playing around his belly button and lower still until he grabbed Sirius in his hand and lazily stroked his length. Involuntarily Sirius thrust his hips into Remus' hand and urged him to touch him a little bit harder. This teasing made him mad, but it was the best thing he ever felt.

That was until the Animagus felt Remus' lips on his own, a light touch soon becoming deeper. The werewolf played with his bottom lip, gently bit it and caressed it between his own lips. When his tongue darted out and stroked Sirius' lips he obediently parted them and welcomed Remus in his mouth with a moan. Where had he learned things like that? Sirius wondered but soon his mind shut down and he was left senseless from this mind blowing kiss. Remus was gentle at first, never moving too fast but the kiss got more and more passionate, the sandy haired boy's hand still stroking Sirius. He never broke the kiss, he never broke contact with Sirius and he never stopped touching him. Slowly, teasingly his hand explored Sirius' length, played with him and made him moan louder into Remus' mouth that still covered his own. The touches and kisses were sensual, probing and so gentle Sirius nearly lost his mind.

"I love you.", Remus breathed between two deep kisses. Instantly Sirius came into his awaiting hand, the water around them cleaning off everything. These words had been too much, they made him lose control and he wasn't even able to do anything about it. Panting he opened his eyes and looked up at Remus.

"You… you do?", he managed to say, his breath going fast, his body still at full attention at the closeness of Remus. The boy came nearer still, pressed his own body against Sirius' and kissed his jaw and neck.

"Of course I do, dummy.", he said, while he nibbled at Sirius' earlobe. "So much…" Remus' confession made Sirius tremble again under his friend's fingers. He threw his arms around him and pressed him flush against his body.

"I love you, Remus.", he whispered. His embrace did not stop the boy he seemed determined to ravish Sirius' body senseless. Sirius wouldn't run or do anything to stop him. When he felt Remus' own length against his thigh he let his hands wander over his back and lower towards his rear and pressed him closer to him, still hard and willing to be taken by Remus.

But the werewolf wanted to go slow, he kissed Sirius' neck and towards his chest, played with him, teased him and made him mad with desire. It was everything Malfoy had taken he now got back by loving Sirius. He had wanted to do this for three years and only now did he find the courage to do so. Strange but so right! When Sirius moaned and panted with need Remus looked up into his eyes again and kissed him hard onto the lips. His tenderness was unbelievable when he opened Sirius' lips and made love to his mouth, while his fingers were busy preparing his back for what was about to come.

Dazed by Remus' kisses and touches Sirius was more than ready when he felt the other one enter his body slowly and carefully. And how careful Remus was. He knew how much it would hurt if he didn't do it in a loving way. But Sirius only needed a few minutes to become used of the feeling of Remus inside of him. After all it was Remus, making love to him, kissing him, touching him. His senses suffered from overload when Remus slowly moved against his body and carefully buried himself deeper in Sirius' body. Never had Sirius thought that it could be so good sleeping with a boy. But Remus felt good. Better than anything. Better than the girls.

Around Remus' kisses Sirius moaned and sometimes screamed in a husky voice, the boy's movements tormenting him like hell. "Love you!", Remus whispered again while his tongue darted out into his ear and stroked him lightly. Sirius' body shivered in his arms and he wrapped his legs around Remus' hips to press him still deeper into him. It felt so good, Remus was so gentle and let Sirius know how much he loved him.

Panting Remus held Sirius close to him, moved gently in and out of him, becoming faster by the time and soon feeling his body tighten just like Sirius'. When Remus came inside of Sirius' body the other boy screamed and felt Remus' hand encircle him. He violently came into Remus' hand and let his head fall against his shoulder. Gods this was good. He gave a small yelp when Remus left his body, missing the warmth inside of him. He wanted him again.

"I'm yours, Sirius.", Remus whispered when they both were able to breath again. "I never wanted Malfoy to do this. He… he took what was for you."

Sirius' hand played with Remus' hair while they stood close to each other wrapped up in each others arms. Gently he lifted the werewolves face up to look into his amber eyes.

"I love you!", he told him again. "And I have more now than he ever will have." Remus nodded shyly and smiled.

"Let's go to bed. I want you again.", he murmured while they stepped out of the lake, never leaving his hands off Sirius.

Sirius nodded eagerly.

"Whatever you want!"

_Owari – The End_

**Please review! Thank you so much! **

**And thanks for all the reviews to my other stories!**


End file.
